'Inner-Monologuing To Bethie While Driving Past Trader Joe's' by Ravyn LaRue

I've gotten to the anger stage
This should have worked out
This should have been meant for me
But it wasn't and I just have to be alright with that
IT SHOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE PLACE FOR ME
WHY AM I BACK AT SQUARE ONE
I SHOULD'VE BEEN HAPPY THERE
WHY COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN
But I wasn't and I just have to be alright with that

'Red Hair' by Ravyn LaRue

I have red in my hair
But I don't want to draw it into self-portraits
Because I do not feel that redness
I am brown and grey and white
And I feel like a mountain of nothingness
That's taking up too much space
But I cannot leave
Because I am grounded here
By some belief that all people should exist
So I am here
Though only barely
So I will not draw the red that sits in my hair

'Oh, Hey, Hilarious' by Ravyn LaRue

Even when I decide
Ah, here is a time
When I can actually confide
Because they have to be accepting
They promised
When I tell of what actually exists
I am answered with
Oh how hilarious
Your childhood was an A&E Special
I mean, I don't want pity
But there is something to be said
For being listened to at least
If I can purge my past
Perhaps it'll help me get past this rut
Because now I'm realizing how it conditioned me
Yet when I mention it
I'm seen as bloody hilarious

'Be Afraid Of The Cold They'll Inherit Your Blood' by Ravyn LaRue

I have to keep from drifting music for a while
I can't allow myself to tune out
I have to keep from being a drifting soul
I can't allow myself to tune out

'Now Haiku' by Ravyn LaRue

I'm really sad now
And all I want to do now
Is write many poems

'Vengeance Victorious These Are The Glorious Days' by Ravyn LaRue

I am harmless
Except for once I am harmed

I found a blog
Where you can submit
Bigoted things said
To you or to others
While you're in college
And it's for things said by teachers, too
I have a flame of diabolical justice burning
Since many bigoted things were said
Both to me and to others
And this fire burns hard and bright
Especially since most of it
Was intersectionality meanness
Not just homophobia
Or racism
Or transphobia
Or misogyny
But all of them at once
And so I'll submit some quotes
Likely all the things
From my lengthy list of Columbia cruelty
And though unlikely
Perhaps then I'll have some solace

I am harmless
Except for once I am harmed

'Update On Emily's Suggestion For Me To Publish A Book Of Poetry' by Ravyn LaRue

I'm not ashamed of SBID
But I feel like now
Now that I know more things
And have felt more things
I could've made my first big thing
Something so much better
But with that said
I think I should try again
With a back up plan of sorts
When I'm 47
If self publishing still exists
And if I haven't done anything of that caliber already
I shall take what I think are my best poems
And I will use any money I might have
To self publish them
And I will make the cover something grand
Though I haven't the slightest what that might be yet
I feel like I should promise myself that victory
Even though
In three year's time
I might feel just as uncertain of that things right to exist
As I feel of SBID right now
But there are people in this world made happy by it
So who am I to argue
It is theirs now anyways
As, too, is anything else I make
Not that that's any enormous honor
But at least it is a something