'Morbid Passion' by Ravyn LaRue

I’m morbidly fascinated
with the absolute brink of human emotion
I say
“Oh wow, this guy intrigues me
he shows more emotion while stifled
than most show full force”
and my friend says
“It’s dangerous
he’s mentioned homicidal thoughts”
and I say,
“Yeah, but I admire his passion”

Yesterday in class
I got attached to a machine
in order to measure my level of stress
my teacher said
think of something that upsets you
and I chose to think of obvious things
and my stress level jolted immediately to 100%
she said,
“Oh wow, this is really bad”
I laughed but I don’t know why
she said,
“If you don’t let up it’ll kill you”
and she engulfed me in her arms
and my mind forgoed my impending death
and sunk easily into her arms instead

'Why Not Try Fighting Back For Once In Your Life' by Ravyn LaRue

Twice in the last twenty-four hours
Someone’s told me
“Hey, you know all your problems would’ve been solved
if you’d just punched them in the face…”
Just because you’re physically strong
doesn’t mean I am
If I would’ve tried that
I know I’d be dead by now

'Don’t Forget To Remember' by Ravyn LaRue

I feel like I have to trigger myself
(for lack of a better word)
By looking at photos of places
where the scariest things
that ever happened to me
happened
And hear the voices that made me cringe

I need to bring myself back to that misery now that I’m safe
I need my blood to boil
I need to shake within my skin
I need to be brought to tears that suffocate my soul
In order to write of when that misery was the norm
I’ll shake and wretch and kill myself writing this

And that’s foolish
I’m aware
But I don’t think I could make good art if I keep myself safe

'Alcoholics' by Ravyn LaRue

Those eyes
far bluer than mine
peer through everything that feels good in me
just like the night I pretended to sleep
because I didn't know what you'd do
if you saw my eyes weren't painfully closed

Those eyes
far bluer than mine
make me feel like I'm not alone
just like those nights I pretended you were beside me
because I didn't know what I'd do
if I couldn't conjure up something good to see

She made me feel
as though I shouldn't even try to survive
because at the end of the day
I'll always be worthless
no matter how hard I try
I'm better off dead

He made me feel
as though I must keep trying to survive
because at the end of the day
I'm really not worthless
no matter what happens
I'm worthwhile

I cannot even cope
to stare at her image
lest I succumb to that state of fear

I could not even cope
unless I stared at her image
to keep from succumbing to that state of fear

'Seven Hundred and Fifty Words' by Ravyn LaRue

I so hate word counts
Seven Hundred and Fifty Words
that's so restrictive

'Followup To My Last Poem' by Ravyn LaRue

I've wished before for
A girl or boyfriend solely
as inspiration

'Crushes and Enemies' by Ravyn LaRue

I've heard people say
Having a crush is healthy
I've heard the same for enemies

And when I don't have a crush
I feel a tiny twinge of discomfort
So there have been times
When I've actively sought out
Love poem recipients for myself

I remember a time
When I was in a coffee shop
And two chosen individuals of mine
Stood talking
And I thought about how strange
My method of doing things was
Since it has nothing to do with love
And more to do with
Shooing away boredom

Now I just got thinking
I have an enemy now
Not by choice
And less of an enemy than
An antagonist in my story
Whom I'd like to avoid at all costs
So maybe that'll keep me
From partaking in my weird crush habits
But probably not