'Quoting Lyrics When You Can't Find A Title' by Ravyn LaRue

I'm not even meant to be posting on here
because I'm too meta to keep from mentioning
that all this is after all is a poetry blog
but oh, how I adore you readers
you hold my heart and that means the world
in the metaphysical wasteland I reside in
but I oughtn't even be posting
because it's lent and I'm catholic even though I'm not
but I suppose the turmoil from that
can just be set upon all the turmoil I feel
anyways and otherwise
I was on tumblr
although forbidden
looking up pictures of Giordano's
and pining
seeing all the boasts of sweet home chicago
wanting to snarl and rave at it all
this was all supposed to work
you know
and seconds before refuge in sleep
my mind always gets shouting
"You see that
you were a coward"
but I sit now
sad
longing
and unfulfilled
and writing the same poem I've written
each time I've sat down to write
for the last three months
because I'm certainly unwell
perhaps I'm insane
but admitting it in those words is ableist
I'm seeing Jen's concert tomorrow
and she is my beloved darling
she means so much to me
and all my beloveds
are found families
although that's an old concept in my mind by now
I just wrote an essay about the trope
and that's half the reason why I watch Demo Reel
just allow me to quote some Amanda Palmer
and we'll be done with it
but in spite of it all
and all my pretense and failures
you're still here
reading like a true sweetheart
and that means the world to me
that have an ear towards my catharsis
and take my heart
when I rip my fat ribcage open
because art is my religion
and Hero is my confirmation sponsor and saint
even when Columbia tore me to shreds
with it's vitriol
no worse than what I could do
if I put my mind to it
because I'm awful
but I'm nice
remember that
but you were here
throughout it all
and that means the world to me, dearest
truly