My heart hurts so much, but it isn't broken
So I really mustn't mind the pain
But the love and longing I feel for all I've ever known and all I hold dear is stronger than any words I could possibly grasp
This feeling keeps me up at night writing poems on post-it notes and finding every song sad and meaningful somehow
Some, honest to God, hurt
I wouldn't lie to you, dear
I just hope I am as beloved in the eyes of my loved ones as they are in my eyes
I hope my soul holds a place in their heart, and my heart holds a place in their soul
Even if microscopic, it would be lovely
And it scares me to think that I may have only imagined that they loved me
Since I love and miss them so much that, even if they claimed loathing, my own emotions couldn't turn back
Now I long for home as I used to long for the big bustling city, only my emotion and draw are far far stronger
And love is there already
I wanted to fall in love with Chicago, but that ship has surely sailed
And now I just complain and long and lust and pine for the comfort familiarity and freedom of home
I now know where my home is
If anything, this place makes me a hippy, though for entirely different reasons than I had hoped for
And it has made me realize that I truly truly love my loved ones
More than all the stars in the sky and all the rest of those tired clichés
But I believe in love
And I've never loved stronger
Believe me.
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