'You Know I'm Hung Up On You' by Ravyn LaRue

I know you’d probably dislike me for many reasons, and I won’t argue with you.

Partially because I’d agree with you, but more so, I’d rather avoid a confrontation.

I know you’d be armed to the teeth, both with intellect, and in the literal sense.

But I find you charming, and romantic, and truthful.

The last count, is what I admire you for, you said what you thought, and didn’t care what consequences cropped up.

What mattered was that you wrote what you felt, and that is what I hope to do somehow.

I could easily become a cheap copycat, and you know better than I, I started up that road twice already.

But I must pave my own trail, as you did, regardless of all life bombards me with.

I’m not saying I have it in me, necessarily, I mean, you had it in you, but look where it brought you.

Despite the romanticism, I want nothing of that fate.

I remember, talking to your ghost in the bath, the night before my confirmation, since I was afraid of the assimilation.

I should’ve chosen Saint Perpetua, that’s my greatest regret as far as identity is concerned, but I was young and dumb.

I bet you and her would get along fairly well, I know there’d be some iconoclastic thoughts, but I ship it, still.

I am going to take a page from your story, I feel the need to.

I’m selfish, since it really won’t be about you.

It will be entirely a journey for myself, and my own accomplice.

Though planning is completely counterproductive to that future venture- so I’ll stop planning it.

I’ll say this much, though: Her name will be Linda and his name will be Jimmy.

Alright?

Alright.

Moral ambiguity is far from good, that’s the point, but you’re saintly in my eyes.

It’s more about inspiration and the worth of life, than it is morality.

Besides, one could argue that you were a martyr, but that’s a bit heavy-handed and pretentious.

But that monologue you wrote, it still gives me chills.

I see it in the end of something even bigger.

It is the embodiment of all my cries and convulsing.

There are times I wish I were a man- mostly monologues, and I blame you for that one.

I still mourn your death, though you may disagree.

I can do whatever I damn well please-

That’s what you taught me, after all.