I longed for a long time
For tomboy heart
And the American Dream
Running wild in Alleys
Red-Brick Rooftops
And the Orange Lit City
The Fence Atop The Bleachers
Sunsets
I longed for delinquency
When I’d show up at the prom queen’s door
Baring my impoverished soul
Hoping to guilt them into liking me
Thunder-road was my heartbeat
I wanted to be a street urchin
For that’s what matched my emotions
My father stole from trashcans
That fate didn’t seem too far off
I wanted Beggar eyes
I wanted to run away with the dream girl
Searching for some semblance of hope
While stretching out
And showing all
Of my tattered little spirit
It followed me through the alleys
As I’d peak into the windows and watch
I’d ride over the bridge into the ghetto
And keep on pushing
I’d come back at sunset
I wanted a rough exterior
And to be one of the boys
It isn’t a family as stories perceive it
It is a gutter of rabid rats
They tear you apart
And it makes a person come crying back
Americana doesn’t exist anymore
It got bastardized and now it isn’t red and orange
It’s grey and blackened
It’s dirt not heaven
But I still want it
I want to be the one girl of the gang
Running on rooftops and having a makeshift family
To live with ruffians who need each other
But that stuff is movie fallacy
People just pity you
And boys rip you up
That time has passed
It came true
Those starry eyes shriveled up
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