It’s goddamn pathetic
And counter-revolutionary
But sometimes
A boy like me-
Well, I just need someone to cling to
Is that so bad?
I don’t give a damn any more
I just want to nuzzle into some person’s soft flesh
And hunker down
Sleep and cry
It really wouldn’t be a bad life.
But right now-
I need to keep up with red cement and the snow on the pavement.
I need to balance on the construction.
Lilly-
She’s what needs softness,
Not I.
She has her moments of defiance and rebellion
But it’s just because she think’s it’s a cute thing to do
She thought once it’ll gain her some friends.
It only left her more fucked up.
Thank God she’s dropped that impossible ideal.
I sometimes imagine my bones melting
It’s relaxing until I think of my eyes
They’d just sink into my own softness
And roll around
And that’s fucking disgusting.
I really used to like chalk.
I’d trace Lilly in that same solid sidewalk-
And imagine it was a crime scene
And pray for rain to wash away our silhouettes.
He did a rain-dance yesterday
And it worked.
I told him I’d beat him up if it washed away the heat.
But it was an empty threat,
and this cold is more suitable anyways.
I wear grey and green.
Like the sidewalk.
I’m just blabbering, by now.
You don’t have to keep reading- I’m certain you’re busy.
But it was kind to give me a second chance…
I certainly don’t deserve it.
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