'Epilogue Reflection' by Ravyn LaRue

I'd rather be a character
Some of myself deeply embedded
Or I'd rather be a caricature
With parts of me exaggerated for comedic effect
But you see that thing I did
The other day
When I stood trembling like a dying trout
That was what I'm terrified by
But it is also that luminous white light I mentioned
Though I felt as though I might not be able to go on
The fact that I did
And had that exchange of eye contact
On that last line of poignancy
It was what I needed to tell me,
"Yes, this is what you must keep doing
It'll be petrifying at first
But so was acting
Do you remember that time?
This is your chance to evolve again
You've grown to the point where you don't need Ms.Hart to hold you up
And even if you do sometimes
Facebook exists
And she "liked" your poem-status
So that's a good sign
You feel that red warmth in your ruddy cheeks?
You feel your knee-caps barely keeping intact like when you auditioned for Ruth?
Those are good signs and you know it!
Keep going.
Trembling is just part of the process-
Like a child learning to walk.
If you don't let this fear fuel you and grow with it-
You'll need to triumph against that self who holds you back.
Come on, dear, you can do this.
You don't need to be a caricature of yourself
Your you-ness is phenomenal
Think of all your idols.
They own up to their they-ness.
And you know they had to tremble, too.
Don't be fazed-"
(I mustn't be fazed.)
"You held people's hands at that point
And they told you they took your heart.
It may have been gory, but the first time always is.
You got to that edge and dove.
You may have feared oblivion.
But you jumped anyways.
And that's what matters.
That white light can be you, after all, if only you show it.
And you showed a slight glimmer.
That's something, love.
That's something."