I'm Offended That She's Offended:

Alright, so this is probably going to end up as more of a diary entry than a blog post, but I feel compelled to write it anyways for the public, because although it isn't a huge quandary it caught me completely off guard so I'm still a tad in shock.

Sometimes I forget homophobia exists; I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by a stunning amount of queer people and allies for the last five years. I'm perfectly comfortable without having to change the pronouns in my poems, and when I play lesbians and the likes I would never expect jeers.

Now I'm at college, an art college. One would think that the transition would be seamless, the same sort of queers and allies would rally around each other, and although I know some, since it's only inevitable, the diversity means there are bound to be some antagonists, unfortunately.

Today was the most blatant incident. We spoke in class of the cultural dynamics of marriage and were paired up to discuss the attributes we wanted for a hypothetical marriage. Simple enough. I sat beside the girl I'm closest to; I barely know her, but I feel comfortable small-talking with her. The teacher went around and assigned us partners. I was put with her.

I thought, "Oh, good; thank God it's someone I know a tad, this'll make it much more fun!" The professor asked us whether or not this partnership was alright. Before I could say, "Oh, of course!" my partner objected saying, "No!"

I thought she was joking, and let a chuckle fall from my lips, but she continued. "No! No! No!" Alright, fine. It's her decision, and I'm pretty compatible with others, albeit introverted in this atmosphere. My former partner kept going, though, "No! Eww, that's just- Eww! No! No! No!" I didn't expect this. She kept kevetching until the professor put a stop to her complaints.

I was awestruck, though it may seem little in comparison, while terrorists slaughter same-sex couples world-wide everyday. This just hit surprisingly close to home. It was a simple little exercise not an engagement, and the fact that the prospect of pretending to be a lesbian for five minutes brought the girl into a full-fledged panic saddens me a great deal.

I'm all over moral ambiguity, and, especially since I liked her before now, this incident doesn't deem the girl as evil. It just hurts me that someone I was comparatively close to, who infiltrated my heart a bit, can so easily utter such destain for people like me. Usual instances of my beloveds being homophobic tend to be misunderstanding and unfortunate choices of words. Though this might just be the latter, it seems so much more venomous than anything I've experienced first hand from someone I care about. I've faced sweeps of homophobic remarks from strangers, but that's different.

Anyways, this doesn't really have a moral or thesis; I'm writing it in the Cafeteria after class, and have real things to write, but still I needed to vent since the visceral response of that girl's words and actions still haven't left me. I write what I feel, so this needed to be done.

P.S. I was also surprised to be called: extreme and progressive for insisting that in the fake wedding my actual partner and I planned, my bride's maids would be both bridesmaids and bridesmen since I love my guy friends and it seems stupid to be so pedantic and restrictive about the gender of my loved ones when the whole point of the ceremony is love.