I want to have some vast huge expectations of myself again
something concrete I want to achieve in this world
because right now I have:
Spend lots of time with beloveds
(which I haven’t actually been doing much of…)
Make good art
(which is debatable, for me in particular, whether anything I do is good anymore)
Make a positive impact on the world
(which will hopefully occur on account of my two former things, but since I’m not doing well with those, I feel like this one is entirely impossible right now)
Others have such high and specific hopes
and I’m just floating crying
“Art! Art! Art!”
but that achieves nothing
But right now
although I’m not content with it
I’m only holding myself to bare minimum expectations
thinking if I’m happy
all will be well
but I think I have to get past that
since who knows if I’ll ever be consistently happy ever again
I have to go on
and achieve great things
regardless of whether I feel my life is in ruins or not
something concrete I want to achieve in this world
because right now I have:
Spend lots of time with beloveds
(which I haven’t actually been doing much of…)
Make good art
(which is debatable, for me in particular, whether anything I do is good anymore)
Make a positive impact on the world
(which will hopefully occur on account of my two former things, but since I’m not doing well with those, I feel like this one is entirely impossible right now)
Others have such high and specific hopes
and I’m just floating crying
“Art! Art! Art!”
but that achieves nothing
But right now
although I’m not content with it
I’m only holding myself to bare minimum expectations
thinking if I’m happy
all will be well
but I think I have to get past that
since who knows if I’ll ever be consistently happy ever again
I have to go on
and achieve great things
regardless of whether I feel my life is in ruins or not
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