'If I Go On My Own Again' by Ravyn LaRue

I keep seeing the mega-buses
and the ads where kids come home from college
just for a weekend and/or holidays
and my friends sending things back and forth
with their beloveds back home
and I find myself longing for that
which is idiotic in a way
since when I had that I was miserable
but I really don’t like being settle-down-ish
when everyone else I adore and admire
have the lives I wanted to have
before my situation took its turn for the worst

I feel like I’m getting past the point
where I feel like Columbia spoiled college
and I’m moving on to the point
when I’ll be able to embark again
because I’m feeling more and more so
that it isn’t in my purpose to stay here
even though I was drawn back
so in such a forceful bout of longing
the problem is that now
I haven’t the slightest
what and where life is trying to propel me towards