'Clarity' by Ravyn LaRue

I've never found it harder to get past something
which proves just how lucky in my life I've been
people have horrors as their default which I can hardly bring myself to say
and all I have is this
so I don't know what to do
I feel I need to write it down
and catharsis my brain out until it doesn't hurt
but then in that way is it a selfish act
since there are those who've endured worse and can never stop hurting
I never thought I'd have a moral dilemma
about whether this pain is pain
since I obviously can feel it
I'm a believer in transparency
but that inherently makes me feel
people will think I'm trying to look worse off
just because I feel the need to show my guts
but I always want to show my guts
so I think
even though I've never found anything harder to get past than this
I have to go on like always
in the way I wish to be
which means openness and emotion
because if I can't cling to that
then what was I fighting for?