The Chicago snowstorm blows
While I'm tucked safe inside
The fancy hotel feels like The Shining
But I know my own horrors will end soon
I have to study for Math
Make my cheat sheet and take my Final Exam
But I just want to watch cheap super hero movies with Darius
And gloat over excellence I know I don't possess
But the snow outside looks so pretty
It reminds me it's a pretty place
And I wish it had a good heart
But Chicago refuses to smile on me
I wish there were more good people I met
It seems such a polarizing place
The good are glorious
The bad are demonic
I'd rather have my world of greyness back home
Lisa wants to convince me to stay
She says she wishes it got through to her at the time how much I hurt
But I'm glad it didn't, in a way
Since although I want catharsis
And someone to listen to my kvetching
I really would prefer if I weren't pitied
So it's weird, I suppose, to see myself as a woobie
But if Columbia was full of Lisas
Or at least populated more with the sort like her
I would stay
In a heartbeat or the blink of an eye
But I see the baby SPCPA kids getting accepted
And I only hope they like it more than I
But she wants me to stay
And I wish I had it in me to
But I don't
And I know it's cowardice
But I know I mustn't risk it
Mama said I would still survive
But I feel if my heart wasn't kept intact, it really wouldn't be survival
It would be just scraping by-
A bare minimum existence
And though I'm conflicted and confused-
I know I must know myself best of anybody
This isn't counting towards studying for my math test
And this test is my last and final labor
It's the boss battle that might rip me to shreds before I get to sanctuary
So I'll stop
But it's still storming outside
While I'm safe and cozy inside
I'll write back to Lisa once I'm home for real
There'll be no turning back, then
And I know I oughtn't look back
This is my chance to re-write the rules to let them survive
Sierra, Donnie and the me I want to be
And Chicago, like its snowstorms, might be pretty-
But I know better than to stay outside, even if it means I might miss a few flakes
No comments:
Post a Comment